Huh? I have zero stubbed toe anxiety. If it happens it happens.
But knowing that I'm being classified by event organizers (and that there's a 10% chance I will be labeled "complete weirdo")? That will keep me from participating in events.
Which is too bad because I already have enough reasons not to participate in events without adding neuroses on top of them.
I'm pretty sure the OP didn't mean they literally put a note in an excel document next to your name. So to explore the issue, is your anxiety around the fact that some people will think some aspects of your personality or behavior or weird? Because I could drop you into the middle of Vietnam (or whatever, pick some country you've never been to) and like 90% of people would think you're a bit weird. It's not really a bad thing, is it?
Anyway in my experience what the OP is referring to is less "nuerodivergent weirdness" and more "Will this person do violence" weirdness. Or, like, people that are just coming to events to try to fuck, and being obnoxious about it.
It's not necessary to literally put an asterisk in an Excel doc: we all know off-hand who the weirdos of concern are.
"Do violence" from a meetup event is rarely a concern in most countries, but never 0.
Mainly the people I'm concerned about are the ones who make others want to leave and never come back.
E.g. by asking uncomfortable and/or sexual questions (which is mostly fine) but not having the EQ after a few iterations to let the person politely weasel out of answering and change the subject. If they really press people, or monopolize the conversation to the point the person wonders why they would show up just to be lectured at, then that's a no-go.
We can all tolerate people who mean well and are mostly easy-going but not good at hangouts. Whereas the ones who are actively repelling newbies from being able to join and enjoy the event are the main challenge.
For example, at other meetups I go to, we've got a fellow who can't take feedback. He knows he made a newbie uncomfortable to the point of standing up and going home, but he makes a joke out of it when he's told what happened and why. Every time... and so the pattern repeats.
I imagined everyone at these events independently classifying everyone else and just sort of nodding knowingly at each other about who the weirdos are.
And so the fact that I don't do that must mean that I'm one of the weirdos. And sure, it doesn't really matter other than it's a reason to avoid events.
