I'm not sure whether you're just arguing or genuinely of this opinion.
Whichever the case, I hope you can accept that a great number of people, when in the described situation, will not think the message “pro-active and respectful”. Is their dickish response justified? No, but it is what it is.
I genuinely don't think it's passive aggressive. "Please throw trash in the waste bin" is a very standard message.
However, the general idea of reducing the friction involved with following the rules is good. Having laws (such as those related to "piracy") that are openly ignored has a corrosive effect on a society's respect for the law in general. For the most part, I agree with Larry Lessig's comments on that matter.
Whichever the case, I hope you can accept that a great number of people, when in the described situation, will not think the message “pro-active and respectful”. Is their dickish response justified? No, but it is what it is.